2026 Issue #25

The Hidden Cost of Being the Strong One

Hi Reader,

I was a few weeks into reporting to a new boss at corporate when he said something to me that I'll never forget.

We were in a one-on-one meeting, and I was walking him through the status of a major project I was leading.

I had my updates ready.

My timelines.

My action items.

As I finished my update, he looked at me and said:

👉 "You don't have to be so tough, Nikki."

I laughed and immediately changed the subject because the comment caught me completely off guard.

Years later, I still think about that conversation.

At the time, I honestly didn't understand what he meant.

The truth is, I acted tough because I thought I had to.

I was a Director and often the only woman in the room.

Despite the high heels—which I insisted on wearing even though they made me stand out—I learned to show very little emotion, keep family life separate from work, and always get the job done.

So when this new CFO said something that felt so personal and insightful, it completely threw me off.

I remember thinking:

"Of course I'm tough. How else would I get here?"

But now, looking back, I think he saw something I couldn't.

He wasn't commenting on my ability to do the job.

He was seeing the person underneath the job.

The woman carrying the weight of always having it together.

What I've learned now is that being tough comes at a cost.

I work with a lot of clients who are just like the old version of me.

👉 They're reliable.

👉 They get the job done.

👉 They show up for everyone.

👉 They don't like asking for help.

But they weren't born that way.

They learned it.

Many of us learned the same lesson growing up:

👉 Be tough.

When you scraped your knee, you were told:

"You're fine."

"Get up."

"Stop crying."

"It isn't that bad."

But in that moment, maybe it did feel that bad.

So little by little, we learned to override our own experience.

We learned that being tough was rewarded.

So we carried that lesson into adulthood.

"My shoulder hurts, but it's not that bad."

"My digestion has been off for months, but I'll deal with it later."

"I'm exhausted, but everyone is tired."

"I'm stressed, but that's just life."

And eventually, we stop listening.

That's the part that comes at a cost.

Because your body is talking to you all day long.

Through your energy.

Your sleep.

Your digestion.

Your mood.

Your cravings.

Your aches and pains.

And if you're anything like the women I work with, you've gotten really good at explaining those things away.

You tell yourself you'll deal with it after this busy season.

After the kids get older.

After work slows down.

After the next project.

The problem is that there's always another busy season.

And before you know it, you've spent years pushing through symptoms that your body has been trying to get your attention about.

That's why I love mineral testing.

Not because it's another thing to do.

But because it gives us a chance to stop guessing and start listening.

A Mineral Test helps us see what your body has been trying to communicate through your energy, stress patterns, sleep, and symptoms.

Because maybe your body isn't asking you to be tougher.

Maybe it's asking you to pay attention.

And if you've been "fine" for a really long time...

Maybe it's time to find out what your body has been trying to tell you all along if only you were trained to listen to it.

👉 Learn more about a Mineral Test here.​

xo,

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